I must be too annoying 4 u.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
