Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
