i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
