Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
