If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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