I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Can I color on your dick again?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
