i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
