There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
