There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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