He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
