# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
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