she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
