big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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