we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
