Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I fill condoms, not promises.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Holy shit dude........stairs
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
