Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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