Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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