I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
