I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I need a burrito and a hug.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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