When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
