Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
