just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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