I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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