Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
