Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
They have beer where we have blood.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
