At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wish you could order shots online.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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