i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
