You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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