it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
