This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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