New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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