Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
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I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize