I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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