So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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