Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
why do cheetos always look like penises
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
