Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
