porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
