We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize
