Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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