he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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