we're blogging at a bar
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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