just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
