My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
