Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
