They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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