we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
