Sober January is a disaster.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
