I never want to see another naked old woman again.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize