Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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