I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
