so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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