She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
