Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
kristin has been a bad kristin
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
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from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
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but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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