Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
