i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
