I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We left an ass print on the piano.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
All the doctor said was why
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
