I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
