i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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