I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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