The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He better not be in your backpack
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
