Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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